Seriously, what am I thinking?! It sounded great. iFred sponsored a walk for the National Eating Disorders Association and I met this wonderful woman who is a personal chef. She makes amazing, delicious, healthy foods and brings it to their doorsteps – incredible!
I was getting ready for the walk doing a great yoga stretch while munching on an incredible Amelie’s chocolate croissant. I could not get enough of it. It was heaven, and as I was doing my downward dog with one arm I realized maybe it was time for a break.
So I got to talking with Carol, and telling her how frustrated I was with my sugar cravings that had, once again, gotten the better of me. The stress of work and life (a lot of it GREAT stress) had gotten me eaten without thought again and slowly the pounds have crept back on. But more importantly, I don’t FEEL good. And I like to feel good.
So here I sit, Halloween morning waiting for my first meal and lemons that I was supposed to have last night – but somehow did not find time to get to the store to get them. I think I was spending my energy worrying about how I was going to make it through the week, as opposed to doing something productive with my angst like getting a lemon and salad.
So last night I had some potato soup and tortilla chips and polished it off with desert of an advantage bar (yes, I have to give these up), already feeling a failure and without having begun. Thankfully, Carol sent me a wonderful, kind e-mail telling me FORGIVENESS and kindness to myself is most important. Telling myself I am bad or a failure only makes things worse. I so often tell others, but forget to tell myself. So thank you Carol.
So I’m getting ready for the day realizing that not only did I start on Halloween and isn’t that incredibly significant and important, but that I actually put myself in a position where I have to BUY and HAND OUT treats to kids that I can’t eat! The ultimate test, but one that if I succeed or fail will love myself and be proud of my effort the same.
To be continued!