Anyway let’s get on with my story. I’m a teenage girl living in a little city. I was perfectly healthy when I was younger & grew up in a house where I was verbally abused, but I still appreciated my family because without them, I wouldn’t be there. My mom was the only one who didn’t put me down. When I turned 9 I was diagnosed with chronic psoriasis. That’s when the depression started. I didn’t know what to do. The itch was stressing me out, my arms would break out, my scalp is covered completely; my whole body! It really sucked. My doctor said there was no cure for it. Later then I said I would just live with it, but my depression would act up, I dealt with self harm. They (I will not say who) thought I was faking everything, that I was stupid, wouldn’t go anywhere in life & be a whore. When I turned 13…. EVERYTHING BROKE OUT. I found out I had psoriatic arthritis, sciatic nerve disorder, GERD, liver disease, vitreous hemorrhage in the left eye, poly-cystic ovaries,high cholesterol, rosacea, & asthma. I was DEVASTATED. No one believed me, but they didn’t have to. I was dealing with it alone. I still am. I gained weight, I always feel drugged up because of the medicine, due to my eye condition, my left eye is blind. Everyone always says “Bring me the doctors note & I’ll believe you” I wish I could bring you a note but my mom lost her job & I can’t work, we don’t have the money… or “Why can’t you be like your aunt so smart & in a great university.” or “Why can’t you do anything in your life?”… Do they not think I wish I could? I try, but I just can’t at the moment. What if your doctor said you couldn’t be active because of your illness or you can’t be at a regular school & be in a classroom? Exactly.. I’m depressed. Some people think I want attention.. But what I really want is… SUPPORT & HELP. I don’t need sympathy or someone put! ting me down, because I’ve had enough of it. I had enough of people telling me ” Look at other people they have it worst they have cancer or heart disease, & you don’t”. Well why don’t you think harder….? All my illness added up is painful & hard… It can cause cancer or heart disease or I can be paralyzed forever, it’s many things. My hair is falling out… Can’t anyone shut up? What if your doctor told you, you wouldn’t be able to do much or you won’t live to the age you expect to or who knows earlier? I mean yeah, people actually do have it worst, they can be dying, but we all go through different struggles, but you can’t compare it. I hope that anyone who is going through something similar to me, just know you are not alone. This is my story, it’s happening NOW.
April 8, 2005 By Leave a Comment
Hello to all that is reading this story of mine… Actually the only reason why I’m writing this story is to get it out. I have no one to tell, to talk to. They always say “I’m here for you!! Talk to me”, but where are they when you need them?